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25 May 2013 @ 06:07 pm

On May 23, the Boy Scouts of America voted to end their policy excluding gay youth from the organization, a decision which  officially takes effect on January 1, 2014. They did not vote on their policy excluding gay adults from accepting leadership positions, nor did they change their policies on atheist and transgender individuals.

The Boy Scouts were an important part of my life growing up. I eventually quit the organization in part due to their bigotry and discrimination. When my son was six and wanted to join Cub Scouts, my wife and I were torn. We eventually let him join, and at the end of the year, we had a long talk about scouts and what it was about, the positives and the negatives, and our own conflicts. The three of us decided together not to sign back up.

I’ve already watched one of my Facebook friends quit the organization in protest, complaining about how a “vocal minority” had “bullied” a private organization into this decision. She also explained that she’s sick and tired of people accusing her of bigotry, and that she doesn’t care about sexual orientation; her concern is for the boys. She wrote a long post about the Scout Law, talking about how openly gay youth violated the ideals of that law.

Bullshit.

This person is so concerned about the safety of the boys. Which makes me wonder, would she support allowing lesbians to serve as den leaders? Because right now, that’s forbidden by the BSA’s discriminatory policies. My mother, a straight woman, was a den leader for many years. If the “logic” of excluding gay men is because they could be potential predators (as a result of being attracted to men), how is that any different from straight women, who are also attracted to men?

Unless you’re buying into the bullshit belief that gay=pedophile/rapist, in which case you are not only a bigot, but an idiot.

She went on to talk about her fear that the boys might go off alone, and who knows what might happen? What if an older gay scout pressures a younger one into something he doesn’t want? Once again it’s not consensual sexual activity she’s afraid of; it’s the “gays as predators” boogeyman.

The Girl Scouts of America have been open and welcoming of all girls, regardless of sexual orientation. Oddly enough, I’m having a really hard time finding stories about the rampant same-sex assaults that presumably permeate the organization as a result of their decision. Weird…

According to the Scout Law, a scout is:

  • Trustworthy – I would love to trust this organization with my child. That means trusting them to welcome and accept him as he grows up, trusting them to help him become a better person. A policy of discrimination and bigotry is a violation of that trust.
  • Loyal – Many boys have no concept of sexual identity when they first join Tiger Scouts. As they grow older and continue in scouting, some of those boys will discover that they are not, in fact, heterosexual. Should the BSA show loyalty to their own members, or should they kick them to the curb?
  • Helpful – Yet when gay and lesbian adults offer their help, scouting rejects them. In my personal experience, scouting was tremendously helpful to me in many ways. Why would the organization want to refuse that help to certain boys?
  • Friendly – What’s so friendly about rejection and discrimination, about teaching kids that it’s okay to exclude “those people”?
  • Courteous – How is it courteous to tell someone they’re not welcome here, simply because of who he or she loves?
  • Kind – See “Friendly.”
  • Obedient – I’ll admit, this is one I’ve struggled with over the years. There are times for obedience, and there are times for disobedience. To me, it’s important to obey one’s conscience, as hundreds of Eagle Scouts have done when they returned their medals in protest of the organization’s discriminatory policies. One could argue that the youth and leaders trying to ban homosexuals from scouting are following their consciences, and that’s probably true. It’s also sad and depressing as hell.
  • Cheerful – I mean, come on. Gay means cheerful and happy and merry, for crying out loud ;-)
  • Thrifty – Um … okay, I got nothing for this one. Except maybe that an organization looking for a stable and solid budget, one which relies in part on donations and popcorn sales, shouldn’t enact a broad policy of exclusion?
  • Brave – People keep talking about how the vocal minority bullied the BSA into this decision. I think this is a ridiculous abuse of the word “bully,” but setting that aside, it takes tremendous courage to be in the minority and to speak up for what’s right.
  • Clean – If you buy into stereotypes about homosexuals, doesn’t that include the one about gays being exceptionally clean and hygienic and well-dressed? After living through those week-long summer camps, the BSA could use an influx of gay men and boys! (Note: I don’t actually believe this, but for those who discriminate based on stereotypes, shouldn’t this be a point in favor of admitting gay youths and leaders?)
  • Reverent – This ties into the BSA’s discrimination against atheists, but in terms of homosexuality, do you want to hear something shocking? Not all religions condemn homosexuality! For some devotedly religious individuals, duty to God means loving and welcoming all people.

This continues to be frustrating and painful to me. Boy Scouts did so much for me as a kid, and I believe they do a lot of good. And this week’s decision was a good first step. But it’s only one step. The organization still has work to do if it means to live up to its own stated ideals.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

 
 
25 May 2013 @ 02:55 pm
http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2013/05/24/2061601/man-who-paid-his-mortgage-early-facing-foreclosure/

So in the banking world, they are actually actively making the lower middle class ( sounds like this guy is around that category) just a little closer to not being able to afford towards home ownership and are also into punishing somebody for overpaying and maybe trying to shorten his mortgage payment years by a little bit?

Let's kick the top management level /executive level bankers out and replace them with the top savers, thrifty people, honest accountants, best bookkeepers, you know- the ones that know how to rub a dime together and get a dollar, etc. The people with financial experience with compassion and knowledge of street level needs, realities and yes, ethics.
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Current Mood: cynicalcynical
 
 
Almost All the Way Home From the Stars (the first collection of my stories with Jay Lake) is now available at the major ebook vendors. Here are the links:



Amazon

iBookstore

Kobo

Barnes and Noble

The CreateSpace version is still in the works. Draft2Digital is a great service, but it's still in Beta, after all, and the helpful folks there are working on a way to generate a Table of Contents for books that need them. Their default PDF generation didn't include a TOC. That's fine for a novel, but a table of contents is necessary for a short story collection. Non-fiction too, for that matter.

If anyone is interested in a review copy of the collection, drop me a line, and I'll be happy to send you whichever format you need.

Reposted from here.
 
 
25 May 2013 @ 12:00 pm
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25 May 2013 @ 06:32 am
Jay Lake, alien hunter

What we get up to here at Rio Hondo...

 
 
Next Treatment Steps

Monday I start Regorafenib. I am frankly rather afraid of this drug. It can have dreadful side effects. And at best, we have a 50/50 chance of seeing useful results. To that end, I have pushed for a baseline CT scan which I will be undergoing on Tuesday. This is out of sequence, as the normal minimum spacing between CT scans is 2 months, while my previous scan was three weeks ago. However, I felt it was important to have an accurate measurement of tumor size and distribution at the start of the Regorafenib series, to compare two months down the road. The hoped-for positive result is a halt in tumor growth. Also, this 3-week scan will give us a decent notion of how fast the tumors are growing.

Current side effects

I've been having a lot of problems with my feet this week. This has led to me being minimally mobile. Not good for exercise. On the other hand, simply existing at my current altitude is practically aerobic exercise. That in turn confuses the issue, as I sleep poorly up here anyway, so I cannot tell if I'm having sleep problems. Likewise, my skin continues troublesome, though it is slowly recovering. We discontinued the Vectibix five weeks ago, which removed the primary driver of my skin issues. And fatigue, lots of fatigue, but difficult again to disentangle that from altitude sickness.

JayWake

Planning for the JayWake continues. July 27th, 2013, in Portland. The link above has time and venue details, and hotel information. A rather substantial group of people have been making some rather substantial contributions to make this happen. I will be making public thanks in due time, and in accordance with the wishes of various donors. This is an open event, so if you can be in the Pacific Northwest that weekend, please do so.

Generosity

Both in the matter of the JayWake and otherwise, generosity continues to flow. To the point of overwhelming me sometime. Thank you all for being part of this journey I'm on. I feel slower and more tired every day, it seems, but I am sustained by your love.

The Unbearable Lightness of Satori

Speaking of overwhelming, yesterday on my social media footprint, I said, "Almost any book can make me cry now. The closer I grow to death, the more emotionally fragile I become." It's true. Even light, funny books bring tears to my eyes when I reach the point of closure. It's a very strange mental space to be in. I don't reject the reaction. It's genuine, it's coming from inside me. Rather, this is a different way for me to consume narrative. Another part of the journey.

Every step is a revelation.

 
 
25 May 2013 @ 07:30 am

Blue November by Brian James Freeman

This was a quick read - a novella length story about a shared dark secret between 5 men who are High School Football Buddies known as the Lightning Five.


This bears much similarity to King's DreamCatcher. I would have preferred a longer book length version of the story to flesh out the characters and their back story more.  Great illustrations by Glenn Chadbourne.

~~~

Iron Man 3

Is Iron Man3 better than Iron Man2? Yes but that's not saying much. And not by much.

Both possess half baked and overstuffed plots and the drive to turn the Iron Man suits into a toyline continues unabated.  Really dislike the change on the fly suit stuff too.  Didn't buy the PTSD storyline either.

Movie's strong point is how much Downey is in the flick.  And the interaction between Pepper and Stark. Mandarin turned out to be a Bane-BNust and apparently the driving motivation to become a ubervillain requires nothing more traumatic than to be left out on a cold rooftop.

At the end Tony Stark declares he is Ironman.  Too bad that declaration came at the end of a movie that just demonstrated that any videogamer with decent skills would make a better one.

~~~

N0S4A2 by Joe Hill

I loved this book!

This one does what the best books do - connects with the reader emotionally.  N0S4A2 creates an inscape reading reality inhabited by characters that you care about more and more as the story goes along.  Joe Hill continues to create quirky, flawed characters that makes me feel positive and negative thoughts.  By the time the story ends, my negative thoughts are forgotten.  The Brat is one of the most interesting and flawed characters I have run across in a long time.

While Manx is the story's titular antagonist, it is his sidekick - Bing Patridge - who is the most revolting and terrifying.  For he is a simple fellow that has managed to built his own complex inscape that allows him to carry out atrocities all the while believing he is doing good works. Scary.

This is my favorite type of story - bittersweet triumph tinged with sadness, gratefulness, and hope.

These are great days indeed when there are books to be read from not just Stephen King but his sons - Owen and Joe - too.

 
 
25 May 2013 @ 09:23 am
It really surprised me how relieved I was when I turned off all my social media to go on a 3-week vacation this month. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys... but I was relieved.

This lead to some deep thoughts about what social media is actually for.

For instance, what does "friending" mean? I get all sorts of lectures from people saying "Internet friends aren't REAL friends". This is BS. Plenty of people on the Internet are my real friends.

"Friending" on social media can mean a lot of things, though. It can mean:

  1. You are my friend.

  2. We are not friends yet, but I would like to get to know you and become friends.

  3. We are not exactly friends, but we are acquainted in real life and refusing to friend you would be more awkward than friending you. (This appears to happen on Facebook a lot.)

  4. I don't know you, but your posts are interesting / entertaining / useful / whatever and I would like to be able to see them whenever you make a new one.

  5. You are an author whose work I enjoy (or some other sort of person who regularly creates interesting things). Most of your posts concern things I don't really care about. But you also post when you have a new story up, and I want to make sure I don't miss any of your stories, so I will read your posts.

  6. I feel obliged to read your posts, because you post about "important" topics. Or, my friends say your posts are really great and I don't want to be left out. Or, other conformity related reasons.

  7. I want to increase my perceived status by having a lot of people friend me, and I am hoping that if I friend you, you will friend me back.

  8. You have done me a good turn online, and I would like to thank you by paying attention to your posts for a while.

  9. You friended me and therefore I feel obliged to friend you back.

  10. My posts are friends-only. We are not exactly friends, but you have asked to see my posts and I have no problem with you seeing them, so here you go.

  11. I feel guilty or inferior because I don't have enough friends on this account, so I am going to friend a lot of people who seem vaguely interesting or appropriate somehow. Or the people that Twitter recommends to me.

  12. You are experiencing technical problems making comments on my posts, and I can solve this by friending you, so why not.

Etc.

All these different functions and meanings are lumped together on social media under a word like "friend" or "follow", which can be confusing for a new user.

So here's what's happened with me: I would like for my social media to mostly be full of 1 and 4, with a smidgen of 2 (I can't handle too many different 2s all at once, but I can handle some) and an occasional 8. But instead, I realized I had filled it up with things I had followed for all of these other reasons. And it was becoming a huge chore.

(Even 5 isn't really a good reason to follow someone's blog. In most cases, there are other ways to get informed of an author's new stories. For instance, most authors have a web site where they list all the stories they have published. So I can check that web site every few months. If this feels like less of a chore than actually reading the blog every day, then it's probably a good idea.)

I feel a little guilty about this, because our culture values friendliness. Saying "I don't have the social energy to pay attention to you every time you post something" feels a bit weird. I have this feeling that the best and worthiest people on social media are the people who follow EVERYONE (and comment on EVERYTHING)... But I can't be those people. That's not how I work.

So I decided to rethink my social media and unfollow everything that wasn't actually improving my day.

The non-autism-related sections of my feed reader have now been cut at least in half. My Twitter feed is now 1/3 of its previous size. (And it is suddenly FUN AGAIN to be on Twitter! What a concept.)

I'm going to be slightly less aggressive with my LJ, but in the next few days, I'm still going to be unfriending some accounts that I don't really interact with. So if you see I unfriended you, don't panic, it's nothing personal. I don't think you are a bad person. I'm probably even still following your stories/poems, if you write those. I'm just trying to cut my social intake down to a size I'm more comfortable with.

In the meantime, I am going to continue posting about autism in SF, reviewing autistic SF books, and chattering away about my adventures in writing. If that interests you, I'm pleased to have you aboard. But if you unfriend me now or in the future, that's fine, too. I would be quite the hypocrite if I objected!

You are in charge of your own social media consumption. You do not owe following/friending to anybody. That is our lesson for today. Or maybe all of you already knew it, and it just took me this long.
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Current Mood: tiredtired
 
 
25 May 2013 @ 06:14 am
Your Saturday moment of zen.

IMG_3086.JPG

Dew on moss, Washington state. Photo © 2008, 2013, Joseph E. Lake, Jr.

Creative Commons License

This work by Joseph E. Lake, Jr. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

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'We Have Always Fought': Challenging the 'Women, Cattle and Slaves' Narrative — Kameron Hurley on non-furry cannibalistic llamas. And much more. (Via [info]rekre8.)

Remembering The Long Lost Germans Of TexasMore than a century ago, German settlers found a pocket of Texas to call home between Austin and San Antonio. And once the local lingo merged with their own language, it proved to be an interesting dialect.

The Princess — How old is 2? (Via [info]willyumtx.)

Defining My Dyslexia

2013 National Geographic Traveler Photo Contest — Wow. (Via [info]tillyjane, a/k/a my mom.)

Lunar Corona over Cochem Castle — A gorgeous photo.

Measuring light in the universe since the Big Bang

Cosmic latteCosmic Latte is a name assigned to the average color of the universe, given by a team of astronomers from Johns Hopkins University. (Via Daily Idioms, Annotated.)

No Bail for Pa. Parents in Faith-Healing Death — Faith healing isn't religion, it's child abuse. Pure and simple. Adults are free to go to hell in their own way, but they are not free to take children along for the ride. In our Christianist-dominated cultural climate, I am nonetheless surprised to see prosecution.

When Politicians promise ‘Lower Taxes’ they are promising Collapsed Bridges — Infrastructure decay is the inevitable result of conservative tax policy. Unless you believe in the fairy tale of supply side economics, but that has neither theoretical support from objective economists who aren't already committed conservatives, nor any track record of success whatsoever in the real world. Me, I like civil society and public infrastructure, and it takes taxes to keep those things going. Hell, even Republicans drive over bridges.

Three reasons Congress is broken — Only three? There are 233 House Republicans and 45 Senate Republicans. That's 278 more reasons Congress is broken.

QotD?: What is your least favorite joke?




5/25/2013
Writing time yesterday: 1.0 hours (WRPA, otherwise on workshop time)
Hours slept: 7.25 hours (interrupted)
Body movement: n/a
Weight: n/a
Number of FEMA troops on my block scamming disaster aid slush funds: 0
Currently reading: Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett